STORMERS IN SPACE 

5/30/03 When we left the Storm Brigade, Bubba and Diz had been captured by space aliens and the Stormers here on earth were planning another rescue mission.  Now, let's see what happens next in episode # 2

- The Plan

Bubba

Who cut the cheese?

You Stormers need a lecture 
'bout your dreamin' up a specter
'Cause I'm tellin' ya I'm up in outer space.
All them aliens seemed puzzled.  
Said "How much beer has it guzzled?"
"Such a wierd example of the human race!"

I ain't sittin' in no bar.  
I'm somewhere near an unnamed star.
I had to sneak the chance to send this little note.
And I fear the fact is true 
that I'm destined for some zoo,
So they can gawk at me and on my foibles gloat.

And another aspect is 
that I've been lookin' for Mizz Dizz,
But I ain't seen her on this wagon up in space.
I would act a whole bunch kinder 
if by some chance I should find her
'Cause I'd  sure admire to see a friendly face.

Don't y'all worry 'bout my bod 
or get yer panties in a wad
Because I'm schemin' me a way to get back down.
I think I'll let a little gas out 
and when all my captors pass out,
I'll just grab the reins and turn this rig around!

(would somebody please feed my horse till I get home?)

Diz

OK I guess I must be lost

in space, way out somewhere,

with Mr Smith who's always sloshed.

(His robot drones of "Danger!" here.)

So Bubba's on a ship as well?

The rest of you best pack your gear

and make a rocket-boosted spell,

then set out through the atmosphere...

WitchyPoo

Well I just got back

Didn't say I was going

Thought that was best

There was no way of knowing

What I would find

There's a planet I know

Where we hold our conventions

And modify spells

Then discuss new inventions

And then unwind

That's where I've been

Seeking Diz and old Bub

I had some success

But now, here's the rub

The news is unkind

Seems they were captured

By alien traders

Travelling thru' space

Just like old time invaders

With profit in mind

At the moment they're resting

On Zeta Four Gold

Awaiting an auction

Where they will be sold

Or left behind

There is one more problem

Quite easily seen

Bubba is purple

And Diz has turned green

With red they are lined

We must have a powwow

Decide what to do

We could launch rescue mission

And I could guide you

On broomstick assigned

(Time is of the essence guys...)

Shelby

The news has come from outer space
that Bubba’s there with bright red face.
And Diz, it appears, was out there seen
She’s painted all over with hues of green.

The rescue problem proves to be huge,
It calls, I think, for subterfuge.
Right now I’m stumped. What can we do?
I’m trying hard to think it through.

We might develop a “thought machine”,
where thoughts could travel, but not be seen.
Your thoughts could branch out anywhere,
under control by forces here.

We need to develop a mental path,
but I ain’t good at higher math.
To invent this machine, I have a yen,
but I use feet to count past ten.

Come on, someone, let’s keep apace
with science to use in outer space.
Just like  Star Trek, we then could say,
“Beam me up, Bubba, I’m on the way!”

Diz

I'm sending a message and using my mind,

I'm tele-pathetic (now don't be unkind)

my message is #%^&#%! and yes, it is green,

its that sort of message that just isn't seen,

received in the brain, not via the ear,

nor via the eye, so prob'ly not clear.

That Witchy was here and then she was gone

I saw her and watched as she moved right along.

She saw me and laughed in her evil witch way,

she only pretends that she cares if I stay

a prisoner and green. I'm green as can be.

I wonder if Bubba is green too? Is he?

Joy

It's not easy being green

so I have heard it said.

telepathic thoughts

going through Diz's head.

I wonder if WitchyPoo

is at the bottom of this

just because Diz

wouldn't give her a kiss

Bubba turned purple

Diz is quite green

does Witchy think

they can't be seen

How did she do it

did she cast a spell

Diz said that she heard her

ringing her bell

or was it the ship

that took them into space

so that they could look down

on the human race

WitchyPoo

I traveled to find you

I see you now say

You saw me, I smiled

"in my evil witch way"

If I were evil

Would not waste my time

Trying to rescue

A partner in rhyme

I've brewed up a mixture

It took me all day

To turn Bubba back, but

I think green you'll stay

Of course, first the rescue

That must be effected

I've got a good plan

Which will not be detected

Suggest that we travel

Pretend we will buy

Bubba and Diz

Stuck up there in the sky

While you all are haggling

With the Alien Boss

I'll release a vapor

Causing memory loss

You'll all be protected

of course from it's spell

Then home we will travel

Like bats out of Hell 

I'll dispel the purple

From Bub straightaway

But Diz can stay green

For the rest of the day

Evil indeed! 
-just trying to help but unappreciated...

Bernie

Now Diz and Bubba still are lost 

They must be saved at any cost

I'm certain they feel mis'rable

We must make then invisable

So here's a thought I'd like to try

We have to find the proper dye

The complement'ry color hue

For Bubba yellow ought to do

But Diz appears to all as green

We must add red so she's unseen

Resulting in the purest white

That can't be seen by day or night

Then Witchypoo can take them on

Her witch's broom and they'd be gone

The aliens we would confuse

Our intervention their bad news.

Shelby

That  “baby-poo green” is a terrible hue
Diz, it isn’t becoming on you
And the color of purple on Bubba, I think,
Needs toning it down to a “baby butt-pink.”

Diz

Bubba's lost and turning yellow,
just what I'd expect - from a fellow.
Bernie thinks that I'll see red
and disappear (could that mean 'dead???)

Bernie

Now don't be silly Diz,.... just look !

I learned this one time in a book

You add a complement'ry hue

And this is what that does for you:

I'll give you just a little hint:.......

When adding complement'ry tint

You're then impossible to see

Then one of us can set you free

We'll slip you in a NASA shuttle

That is how their plan we'll scuttle

Alter orbit, head for home

That's my plan in this here poem.

When we have you back with us

The stormers here are sure to fuss

Invisable you're hard to find

Are you in front or back behind ?

We'll have to turn you back to PINK

Then we can tickle you, I think

And that's what Warren likes to do

If he could get his hands on you.

In Bubba's case, we're "in a pickle"

Him I do refuse to tickle

He's a man; it isn't right

You tickle him and he will fight.

Warren

Enough with all this talk and planning

All we have are knocks and panning

Now it's time that we were manning

our positions in this war.

Shelby get the Corsair ready

You can lead but don't get heady

Pans and knocks, enough already,

That's not what we came here for.

To fuel just add Poo's special leaven

Then you'll rise up right through heaven

taking up through space we seven

Stormers on our faithful course.

Once there see in which direction

to proceed without detection

as we make a keen inspection

of their military force.

Poo's plan merits special mention

Make believe in this pretension

Buying slaves is our intention

Green and Purple as a pair.

Take along two cans of spray paint

and in case you see that they ain't

selling Bub and Diz they may faint

if they vanish in thin air.

Lou

I'm here, Got in on the midnight flight,
I took a nap that  lasted all  night,
But now I'm up and ready to fight,
To find poor Bubba and our Diz.

About the colors I haven't a clue,
I leave those decisions up to you,
Just tell me what I have to do,
What color is hers, and which one his?

Can Witchy come on her flying broom?
I'm sure, for me, there'd be 'nuff room,
And tell her to make it really soon,
I've got the energy but it won't last long.

I've packed my bag with what I'll need,
My smelling salts, and something to read,
In case we stop to have a feed,
And in my heart there is a song!!

WitchyPoo

Okay Lou I'm on my way

Will be with you first light of day

I've  just got my Superbroom

It's comfy and there's plenty room

We'll rest awhile and fly by night

Could you prepare a veggie bite

For me please 'cos I'll need to eat

Just simple food, no special treat

Wrap up warm for we'll fly high

It's safer way up in the sky

A scarf around your neck you'll need

For up there, it gets cold indeed

But we'll keep warm as off we zoom

Snuggled close upon the broom

For signs of Bub and Diz we'll scan

Ready for the rescue plan

Shelby

Lou is back and making tracks,
preparing for a trip.
She’ll check the weather, determine whether
to go by broom or ship.

To me it seems by using schemes
of color , one might find
That Bubber feller don’t look yeller
if one is color blind.

I’m headin there in my Corsair.
I’ll give ole Bern a ride.
He don’t know yet that he won’t get
a chance to ride inside.

Since he’s so old, he might catch cold
outside there with no heat.
So he can sit if he will fit
in the space behind my seat.

Sha

I think there might be quite a problem
Heaven Bypass, some might need
Bern won't make the pearly gates
Coz he's been very bad indeed

Lou might also have a problem
With her girdle flashed about
And they might say that witchpoo
Can't do her spells, must go without

Now as for me, I won't get in
Confessions won't help me at all
I know I've sinned, (and Bern knows too!)
Believe you me, we had a ball!

It seems that Shel's been there before
Coz he behaves, from what I've seen
But as the pilot of the ship
His passengers might come between

Unless the keepers of the keys
Will take a bribe, now that might work
With Warren in his rabbit gear
They won't suspect a fluffy berk

Lou

And off the ground we go!
We're headed for outer space,
I've got my woolies on,
I've brought the picnic case.

For Witchy there's veggie cakes,
For me some chicken fried,
Good wine to sip and savor,
A pillow for when I get tired.

Sha

And where does sit, that Witchy cat?
She sits upon your knee?
My goodness, what will happen if
She wants to have a pee?

Sha

Now Lou and Witchypoo are close
They want to snuggle on a broom
But how will we all get there too?
It seems there won't be any room!

I think they want to leave behind
Their friends and do it all alone
To get the credit for themselves
This situation needs a moan

And Warren wants to spraypaint Diz!
But she's allergic to that stuff
She'll sneeze and wreck the atmosphere
As if she's breathed in lots of fluff

Imagine fumes from spraycans too
That merge with Bubba's gases!  Eek!
Explosions worse than nuclear bombs
Is this the outcome that we seek?

When Shelby drives the rocketship
While Warren hops at such a pace
We'll zoom about with nylon nets
Fish Diz and Bubba out of space.

Shelby

If you just heard a sonic boom,
It did not come from Witchy’s broom
Twas Bubba reentering from space
After blasting gas in the alien’s face

Bubba

We'z scootin'  past some far off stars
When all at once we sailed past Mars.
When cast in that red shadow's hue.
Sweet Diz plumb disappeared from view.

I couldn't figger where she went
But knew she'z close.  I caught her scent,
And 'bout then's when the ship turned 'round
And, Glory Be!  We're Earthward bound!

She got us headed home somehow,
And we're on autopilot now.
We should be home 'fore y'all get here,
So stomp some grapes and get some beer.

Our captors stand no chance Diz, Dear.
If they come near the helm, I'm here.
I'll say "resistance futile, Boys"
Then pass some gas without no noise.

They'll never know what laid 'em flat.
Just one quick puff, and that was that!
Keep steerin' Diz!  You saved the day!
(Has someone fed my horse some hay?)

And there it is!  This land I know!
Look, Diz!  That's Roswell down below.
Please land her there.  There'll be no fuss.
They'll hide the bodies, censor us.

It ain't too far from there to walk
To Bubba's hill.  No, Diz, don't balk!
I've seen this yarn unfold before,
But NASA disavows such lore.

Warren

Bubba cut it!

Now Bub you are just too amazing

Who'd have thought that this hair-raising

bout would end without guns blazing

in some shoot-out out in space.

Instead as you said from the start

A leaded head would fall apart

if you would vent just one great fart

right smack directly in its face.

You turned the tide into your favor

just when nothing could seem graver

giving it that special flavor 

we have come to know from you. 

Now it seems your ship was landing

even as I tried demanding

we proceed with plans longstanding

to get back in tow you two.

Problem now is Shelby's missin'

since he set out on a mission

with some lame brained wild ambition

to retrieve you on his own.

Also Poo took Lou out somewhere

on her broom to scout a Corsair

landing site for Shelby, from where

he could rescue you alone. 

Bernie

Me ride with Shelby in his CORSET ?

Like to see you try to force it !

(When I read that part once more

Got it straight then knew the score)

Aero-plane is what you meant

"Corsair plane" was your intent

Dug it from his ancient past

Didn't think that thing would last.

Diz and Bubba got control

Bubba's gas then took its toll

Stopped them aliens in their tracks

Plenty gas he never lacks

What Bubba did does blow my mind

His noiseless gas, the wustest kind

It burned their eyes and made them gag

It even made their spirits sag.

Deciding not to try again

They headed for their home right then

And as they left we heard them groan

"From here on in leave Diz alone !"

Is that the fat lady I hear singing?  Poo, Lou, and Shelby, do you copy?  You can come home now; all is forgiven.